LADIES AND GENTLEMEN BOY DO I GOT A STORY FOR Y’ALL.
Okay disclaimer its mostly stressful and not really exciting or informative but some parts of this are funny so like, read on at your own risk. Future blog posts will be much more sophisticated and educational, with sprinkles of profanity and humor.
I am writing this on my second flight of the day, even though I have actually been booked for a total of 7 different flights in the last 15 hours. ITS WILD OUT HERE.
But just how wild is it Ana? Well interested reader, let me inform you. I woke up at 4:30 am (after going to bed at 2:30 am @nathan thanks for keeping me up <3) to get my ass to the airport by 5:30 (there was already traffic, that is just gross). Now, you might think oh well that’s normal Ana, you were just going to the airport to catch your flight. Well NOPE, I actually didn’t have a confirmed spot on the plane, which I only found out about a day before leaving, so I went to the airport contemplating how much crying I’d have to do for them to let me on the damn plane.
No worries my people, I was let on the plane AMEN. So I’m chillin, I got my bagel, I’m on this plane, I’m casually yet profusely sweating, and we’re about to leave on time. BUT NOPE. We get an announcement from the captain informing us that one of the flight attendants needed to leave the plane immediately because her sibling LITERALLY just died. LIKE WHAT IN THE FRICK OF THE FRACK!? First of all, my sincere condolences to this poor woman I cannot even imagine how she feels right now, and second of all, did the captain have to tell the world? Good lord. And now I’m a dick because this woman’s family member just died and I’m here writing a blog about my petty plane issues. Such is life. MOVING FORWARD.
We land at JFK (I did not get to meet JFK, in case you were wondering). As we land, I am well aware that there is a -4.5% chance that I am going to make this connection because my next flight is at another terminal and this airport is MUY GRANDE let me tell you. We’re talkin like the size of the US National Debt grande. But this kind airport woman finds me and hands me brand new plane tickets (lowkey sketch?). So basically my next two flights are different from the original, meaning that my luggage will not be following me #LOL. Thankfully my brilliant mother (shoutout @mum) told me to pack emergency outfits in my carry on.
SO FINAL STRETCH GUYS ALMOST THERE (this is the good part), I get on this new plane to head on over to Barcelona, 15 pounds lighter because I sweat all of my stress out of my body, I sit down, got the row to myself, life is good. The plane starts rolling and I think to myself “alright nice, dope, we’re rollin, that means we’ll take off soon, swiggity swag”. NOPE. NOPE NOPE NOPE. This plane was ROLLIN around on this runway for a solid 15 minutes, just rollin. Yes I do see you rollin, and I am hatin’. Like where do you think you are rolling to? At this point I’m thinking “bitch are you trying to roll your ass all the way to Barcelona because I am NOT down with that, hellllll no.” So we stop rolling, and things are lookin good, we are first in line on the runway, you strut that runway, plane. AND THEN OUT OF MOTHER TRUCKIN NOWHERE, A COP CAR STARTS SPEEDING DOWN THE RUNWAY LIKE ITS 1985 (idk how cops sped down the runway in 1985). CAR DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK YOU’RE GONNA SPREAD SOME IMAGINARY WINGS AND FLY!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING. THIS AIN’T NO BAT MOBILE, YOU AIN’T GOIN BACK TO THE DAMN FUTURE IF YOU GO FAST ENOUGH! GET OFF THE RUNWAY, FIDEL CASTRO IS DEAD WHY YOU STILL LOOKIN FOR HIM OUT ON THIS RUNWAY!? Meanwhile I’m on the phone with my mom, and texting Julia (hi Julia) about all of this and she is takin my shit like a trooper.
I am now in Barcelona, waiting for my final destination, next to some really ignorant American college students. Until next time, with a hopefully much less dramatic and more serious/informative blog.
(this was my first view of Spain look how pretty)
P.S. if you read this I sincerely advise you to find better forms of entertainment in the future ❤