How to Look Like a Native (and Tourist)

I’ve only been here a few days, and thus far it’s been super easy to figure out who’s a native, and who’s a tourist. Here’s a quick guide for you guys in the case that you want to come visit Seville (or visit anywhere in general), to know how to blend in or stand out to ridiculous extremes.

Natives:

  • Wear clothes appropriate for 40 degree weather, in 60 degree weather. The Sevillanos freak the fuck out once temperatures get below 70, so they bundle up like the apocalypse is coming and the only clothes they get to keep are the ones on their back.
  • Whilst walking, use your phone only for calls, not texts. Unless you want to get your shit stolen while you’re busy sending nu- I mean…texts that are more than likely unimportant.
  • Look like you’re generally enjoying your casual stroll around town. Yeah that’s it.
  • Put your hands in your jacket pocket if you’re young and hip. Since its cold, older people wear gloves but hip youngsters are too cool for those and must instead warm their hands in their pockets
  • Wear a trendy scarf. Yes, men, I’m talking to you too. No, wearing scarves is not for gay men, it’s for ALL MEN, and it’s called fashion, try it sometime.
  • Be elderly and walk around with groups of other elderly people. If you’re not of the elderly age, you’re outta luck.

Tourists:

  • Walk around like its fucking Disneyland. Be absolutely amazed at everything you see. Even if it is not amazing at all.
  • Look generally lost or confused. Like so —->  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  • Part-take in the use of selfie sticks. Why
  • Take an excessive amount of “candids” in areas that the natives don’t find interesting at all. Yeah sorry, but that bench that multiple dogs have pissed on is truly not special.
  • Feed the birds. Why the fuck would you feed the birds this is not a zoo.
  • Pick the oranges from the trees. This is a major yikes (@julia), if you do it, you truly suck, and thus you are a tourist.
  • Wear Patagonia, NorthFace, sports team gear, or Marc Jacobs. Truly not fashionable in any country that is not America.

Now you’ve got all the tools you need to look like a super native, and a super tourist. IMG_9682.JPG

(Cute pic of us looking like extreme tourists, but I have curly hair, it helps).

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2 Comments

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  1. Why do Spaniards think a giant winter coat and scarves are necessary in 50 degree weather I DONT UNDERSTAND but
    I will pretend I do so I fit in

    Like

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